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Archive for the ‘Not Real News’ Category

Hot Wheels to recall over 90% of models

For Hot Wheels, strong sales during the festive season should have marked an end to the bleak outlook for investors during the downturn. However, there were rumours at the 2011 Detroit Auto Show earlier this month that disgruntled employees were set to lift the lid on some dark secrets that had been brewing behind closed doors.

Then, yesterday afternoon, a whistle blowing employee dropped the bombshell that there are allegedly steering defects in nine out of ten models to leave the production line. This has still to be confirmed, but the saftety implications have already rocked consumer confidence, with those who acquired a Hot Wheels auto-mobile within the last few months demanding answers from the embattled Mattel subsidiary.

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EA Games to release Porn Star™

Following in the wake of their successful multi-peripheral music game, Rock Band, Electronic Arts announced today the forthcoming release of Porn Star for PlayStation 3, XBox 360 and Wii gaming consoles.

“People have been saying for far too long that EA just churn out annual updates to existing franchises, but this is a brand new IP that I think takes the whole concept of peripheral based gaming and busts it wide open.” Commented lead designer Randy Smith at EA LA.

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Breaking: Britney Spears converts to Scientology

Britney can do science!Earlier today in a dawn ceremony held at the Scientology Celebrity Center in Hollywood, California, Britney Spears was inducted into the religion boosted by mega stars such as Tom Cruise and Will Smith.

Under the watchful eye of some of Scientology’s top minds, Britney was successfully audited during the ceremony and sources have revealed that she will skip directly to the OT3 (Operating Thetan) level, such was her competancy in key areas of the audit; Cashflow and Mental Fragility.

“We’ve been patiently waiting for the right moment to introduce Britney to the wonders of Scientology for a long while now, ” Our source told us, adding “we were very encouraged when she denounced Kaballah a couple of years back. And, lets face it, when you’ve been married to Kevin Federline and he’s been declared the sensible one you’re about as ripe as targets get for us.”

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