Free your iMind

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Free your iMind

I often follow the external links from Zeldman‘s site, sometimes for the CSS / standards related sites, but mostly just for a new journal (or blog) site for a bit of casual coffee break reading.

However, I find myself wishing there was some way that these sites could be filtered for Apple fanboys and girls. Every sickly, sugary post I happen across praising an iMac or a frickin iPod is so unbelievable nauseating that I’m clicking the killer × as fast as my Microsofttm Intellimouse® can carry the pointer.

If someone could explain the deal with Mac’s to me then I’d be eternally grateful. I mean, what is it? Some kind of cult? Do you have to hand over your firstborn if you don’t become an Apple whore the second you start using an item of their usually over-designed consumer electronics?

On the other hand, if none of you MacWhores can explain it to me – I could provide a handy exorcism session free of charge. Just read the following:

Apple did not pay you to own their hardware. Apple products are not cheap or free. Apple products are expensive – they are not some wonderful gift to yourself that should be a pleasure to spend the cash on. Apple is not your friend. They don’t know you. They do not give a shit if you mention the company, link-back to them with every blog post, nor do they give a rats ass whether you’re using your iBook whilst bungee jumping or not. As long as you buy their stuff, that’s good enough for them.

Further to that – YOU have paid them for their product. That’s all you need to do – nothing more – just use the thing and STFU about it.

And most importantly…

There is very little or no chance that Steve Jobs himself will turn up at your door, thank you kindly for all the free plugs you’ve been giving his company and bestow upon you the gift of new Apple products for life.

Do you get it? Do you understand? Can you hear me at the back? Yes – you, pissing around with your iPod and Titanium iBook, no doubt listening to some pretentious shit whilst posting on your blog about how “kewl” it is that Apple are enabling you to do all this techno stuff.

Enough is enough!