Journal

A bogus journey

Okay, lets get one thing straight, right off the bat. I know there are people out there who would kill for a holiday during February. So, with that in mind, I don’t want to come across as an ungrateful whinger who went on a cheap winter break and found it to be, in the main, shit.

However, if I didn’t moan and have a rant about things then a vast majority of the content on this site would end up the same as the holiday – dull.

So, not wanting to dwell on how much of a let down the whole thing was for us, I’ll try to convey the disappointment of the whole week by way of a promising subplot that had been gaining momentum before we arrived.

The early part of the week contained the potentially explosive love triangle involving Fliss‘ dad, Ted, and an older, irish man called Billy, vying for the affections of a lady named Beryl. These are, I think, fantastic old peoples names that anyone who’s ever played with Sensible Soccer’s Old Folks XI team will remember with mirth. None of your Kylie’s and Tyler’s to be found here – just old fashioned monikers that conjure up images of rationing and seaside resorts in their heyday.

Anyhow, Ted is a sharp old chap, who, despite being into his mid 60’s, isn’t what I’d call a proper old codger. He has the occasional stubborn old codger moment, I’ll admit, but for the most part Ted is young at heart, far from being on the scrap heap, and only his poor hearing lets him down. Due to the slight deafness, he seldom initiates conversation with people to avoid embarrassment, and this was the case with Beryl. Billy, on the other hand, was a wittering old budgie who sprinkled the words “you know?” into every bumbling sentence that left his mouth. You only had to make the mistake of asking Billy the time and you were fucking stuck there for twenty minutes while he struggled to recall some example of how he’d once used a watch in some way. Beryl obviously had the patience of a saint, because Billy seemed to be quite welcome at her table and, as far as Ted could see, the old irishman’s persistance was paying off.

Continue Reading