Bryan Adams, I have been to two of your concerts. I enjoyed myself on both occasions. I thank you for that.
Now, with that said, the legacy of that song of yours that stayed at number one for an eternity has turned all guys into utter doormats. The Spice Girls didn’t exactly help later on with all that girl power shit either, but you set the ball rolling Bryan. You’re responsible for tipping the scales in their favour.
I think it’s only fair to ask; when you said “Everything I do, I do it for you?” did you really mean that or were you just trying to get some action?
If you meant it then, well, thanks for sticking us all in the same boat. And, if you didn’t mean it, well, you’re a selfish son of a bitch because your blatant disregard for the consequences of your early 90’s chat up line resonate to this day.
“I would give it all, I would sacrifice” – you just didn’t know when to quit, Bryan – the everything I do line was a virtual pant remover, and you had to go on with the crazy talk that the chicks still believe a decade and a half after the torrid ballad finally faded from the charts. How badly did you need to get laid, Bryan? Were you a test pilot for the early viagra lab tests or something?
Good god Bryan, did you ever stop to think of the damage you were doing to the very foundations of mankind?