Mel C not a rock chick after all

Not Real News

Mel C not a rock chick after all

Melanie “Mel C” Chisholm has today revealed that she’s not a rock chick after all and never was, for that matter.

The 29 year old northern lass has finally admitted defeat in her attempts to make it as a credible solo artist since the demise of the Spice Girls. It turns out that having the talent of a reasonable Sunday night pub-Karaoke singer just doesn’t cut the mustard when you’re up against the angelic tones of Christina Aguilera or Shakira.

The wannabe biker grrrl stated in a press release that “The rocker image seemed like a good idea, but it just wasn’t selling cd’s or getting air-time. That’s why my new single, On the Horizon, sounds more S-Club than Suzi Quatro. Now that S-Club are out of the way I can fill the void left for cheesy, production line pop and cut the pretence.”

Some feel that Mel is more than qualified to fill that “void” – something she alluded to further into her statement:

“It was all a bit Mickey Mouse anyway – I don’t even like wearing leather – for a porky girl like me it would chafe like buggery.”

Quite.