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Medal of Honour : Rising Sun

Medal of Honour : Rising Scum truly pushes the boundaries of how much excrement you can fit on one disk. I have rarely had the excruciating misfortune to play, never mind own, a “game” as poor as this.

And I use the term “play” so loosely that if watching demo-footage of a game through a telescope counted as “playing”, well, MoH : Rising Scum would rank below that.

Although not advertised on the packaging, the game features “bullet-time” quite extensively. In fact, the whole first mission is spent predominantly in “bullet-time”, yet for some reason, unlike Max Payne or Enter The Matrix, the player character also seems to slow down along with everything else. To the point where it’s unplayably slow – I’m talking “turn around quickly, then go make a cup of tea while the game engine catches up” kind of slow.

It’s like EA wrote a game that could only possibly run at a decent frame rate on that Deep Blue super-computer that gives chess Grandmasters the run–around every so often. Then, instead of thinking “woah – it’ll be PS3 before this sloppy code can run smoothly on a console,” they wrote a Deep Blue emulator for the PS2 and stuck it in the shops anyway.

And this is not the PS2’s fault at all – there are games like the sublime TimeSplitters 2, which is over a year old now and absolutely hoses on anything that MoH: RS even attempts to do.

The reason I happened upon this sorry excuse for a game was due to me returning Need for Speed Underground. Rising Scum was a convenient swapsie at the equivalent price… but… but… I expected to get a frickin’ game in return, not just a collection of poor cut scenes and the worst rendition of a first person shooter you actually need to pay money to own!

Avoid this game like nothing you have ever avoided before. I’m talking suppositories, kidney failure, fallen power lines during a rain storm – that kind of thing. If someone offers to sell you this game, even at half price, run. Run screaming like you would if you were doused in petrol and they were offering you a light.

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