JSP Sucks Ass

JSP is a bloody rotten way of making websites.

Horrible. Disgusting. Wretched.

Why does everything have to be nested inside everything else? It’s like building a skyscraper of cards, never mind a house, where each individual card has to be constructed from other, smaller cards.

I cant believe anything much ever gets accomplished with it. It’s no wonder all the Java buffs love it – it’s so long winded that they can string out all their contracts for extra coinage.

If you had to wash a t-shirt using Java and Java Server Pages you’d have to nest the t-shirt cleaning routine inside a washing machine template. That would reside inside a kitchen template, which would extend the room template, no doubt.

Of course, the Java developer would then tell you it’d be best to build a custom house framework, just in case you wanted to use your washing machine in other rooms at a later date. Then he’d nod in a self congratulatory way whilst muttering something about the “scalability” of things.

Before you know it, the project will have scaled itself into a housing estate framework, because the java developers reckon that at some point down the road you might want a whole bunch of houses that are full of rooms, each with washing machines which are washing t-shirts.

The timescale has now expanded off into the distant horizon, but you’re assured that when it’s done this will be the best way of washing t-shirts and nobody is going to be washing t-shirts in the kind of volume that you are.

Of course, cheaper and less hassle would have been buying a new, clean t-shirt off the shelf, but shortly after this whole charade got started you couldn’t see the t-shirt vendor to get one for all the smoke and fucking mirrors the Java developers were using to make the housing estate framework seem like such a good idea.

So… in summary; JSP sucks ass for making websites. And t-shirt washing routines. Possibly.