JSP Sucks Ass

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JSP Sucks Ass

JSP is a bloody rotten way of making websites.

Horrible. Disgusting. Wretched.

Why does everything have to be nested inside everything else? It’s like building a skyscraper of cards, never mind a house, where each individual card has to be constructed from other, smaller cards.

I cant believe anything much ever gets accomplished with it. It’s no wonder all the Java buffs love it – it’s so long winded that they can string out all their contracts for extra coinage.

If you had to wash a t-shirt using Java and Java Server Pages you’d have to nest the t-shirt cleaning routine inside a washing machine template. That would reside inside a kitchen template, which would extend the room template, no doubt.

Of course, the Java developer would then tell you it’d be best to build a custom house framework, just in case you wanted to use your washing machine in other rooms at a later date. Then he’d nod in a self congratulatory way whilst muttering something about the “scalability” of things.

Before you know it, the project will have scaled itself into a housing estate framework, because the java developers reckon that at some point down the road you might want a whole bunch of houses that are full of rooms, each with washing machines which are washing t-shirts.

The timescale has now expanded off into the distant horizon, but you’re assured that when it’s done this will be the best way of washing t-shirts and nobody is going to be washing t-shirts in the kind of volume that you are.

Of course, cheaper and less hassle would have been buying a new, clean t-shirt off the shelf, but shortly after this whole charade got started you couldn’t see the t-shirt vendor to get one for all the smoke and fucking mirrors the Java developers were using to make the housing estate framework seem like such a good idea.

So… in summary; JSP sucks ass for making websites. And t-shirt washing routines. Possibly.

4 thoughts on JSP Sucks Ass

  1. Are you sure you aren’t confusing the language with it’s fanboys? C++ has exactly the same problems, whereby “clever” people can spend their entire lives constructing more and more elaborate frameworks in which to not actually produce anything useable. It’s entirely possible to take a language with complex constructs and use it to write something extremely simple and elegant. Blame the workman, not the tools! 🙂

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