Category: Comment

What the hell is it with mobile phone adverts over the last year or so?

It’s like all the major service providers are trying to outdo each other on the pretentious-o-meter.

I find myself willing the smug twat falling at the start of the T-Mobile Flext advert to run out of credit on the way down. Or if that’s too graphic, at least just before he puts his hand through the plate glass window to prod his hipster friend on the arm.

Whatever happened to using the stairs? or giving a gentle tap on the window?

No, of course you don’t use them any more, because you’re tied into some wanky 18 month contract that lets you perma-glue your phone to your ear during every waking moment of your unquestionably trendy life. Normal shit is below you now – it would only undermine the obviously prescient lifestyle choices you’ve made on the way to arriving at Level 7 Hipster status.

Of course, the pretentious-o-meter is going to need recalibrating for when the bloody iPhone launches over here, isn’t it? Pretentious product coupled with an industry with a penchant for pretense. It’ll be pretentiageddon, mark my words.

So say some Commons MP’s on the BBC website.

They also suggest changing the test to cover a year’s syllabus – all very sensible. They should possibly not make it a piece of piss, too, and actually include motorway driving as part of the test.

That and parking straight – the number of morons who cant do that in a supermarket car park is just unacceptable. If you don’t have the spatial awareness to park a car at walking pace, then what sort of judgement can you have at 30 or 70 miles per hour?

They should limit the speeds that drivers can reach in the first year after passing their test, too. Say, 55mph tops, until the angst ridden teens have gotten the whole fast and furious mindset out of their systems.

Cumpulsory re-tests for anyone who breaks the highway code in their first two years of driving would be a nice touch, too – the extra cash raked in could help put more police patrols on the roads and bring down the cost of road tax at the same time. (Only for people like myself, who drive fuel efficient, environmentally friendly cars, of course. The speed bump vaulting, gas guzzling SUV crowd can take it where it hurts most – in the wallet. I don’t think upwards of £300 a year for road tax is too much to expect of the Porsche Cayenne drivers out there – after all, they’ve already proved they have more money than sense!)

The whole thing really does need a re-think – the more draconian the penalties, the better.

I was pleasantly surprised when I got home to find that Wimbledon was being broadcast in High Definition on BBC HD. There was only the choice of one match, but at least it was someone of the quality of Federer disposing of first round fodder.

Sadly, now that the rain has come, they’re showing last year’s final in standard definition, but I’m looking forward to watching more quality tennis in HD over the next couple of weeks.

It’s the occasional treat like this from the BBC that almost makes the license fee worth the money. Almost.