Journal

One of those days

Today was a complete non-starter. I felt like crap from the moment I got up and by the time I got to work I was just hoping to survive the day without any friction with anybody.

This lasted until mid afternoon when I was reminded yet again in another example of inverse motivation, of how I should know my place and because I don’t have any graphic design qualifications I shouldn’t really be speaking out on design issues with the stuff I work on.

Turns out that five years producing web sites counts for nothing if you don’t have a graphic design degree. I think I’ll have to disagree quietly on that one.

Truth be told, I’ve produced so many corporate intranets in the last two and a half years that I’m starting to get pissed right the way off with it. Hell, even going back to being an electrician has more appeal than another five years of doing this.

Trouble is, I’m doing some Very Cool Stuff ™ at the moment, it’s just that the environment I’m working in means that there is little in the way of praise but plenty of the stuff that makes you want to go postal.

I really cannot wait to take all that time off at xmas.

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Journal

A New Sensation

It’s five years this week since Michael Hutchence was found dead in his Sydney hotel room. I quite like Inxs and recently bought their greatest hits compilation – well worth a listen if you’re that way inclined. Liking the music has less to do with the reason I remember that event than you’d think, though.

It will be five years ago on Friday when my then girlfriend of almost three years arrived at the door of my student flat in Dundee and told me we were finished. She elected to stay for dinner and that weeks’ episode of Friends, before she left for the last time and I trudged back from Dundee bus station to what was left of my life.

I was absolutely crushed, natch, and pretty much thought my world had come to an end by the time I got back to the flat. I contemplated suicide that night – checked out the pipes and stuff in my small room and figured that hanging myself was the easiest way of doing it with what I had to work with.

That idea was discarded when someone told me that Michael Hutchence had done that very thing, although I suspect he had different reasons. Once you’ve shagged the heady heights of Paula Yates and Kylie Minogue I guess it must be kind of difficult to get a boner by yourself unless you’re doing something weird!

Ha ha! Fuckit – this was meant to be a serious post!

Well, anyhow – as you can guess, I snapped out of it and here I am, half a decade later much the better for not going through with it.

It was kind of weird recently when I was put through a similar emotional roller-coaster. I was thinking “Oh no – here we go again!”, although fortunately things seemed to magically recover just when I thought all was lost.

Not sure where I’m going with this, and if you’re with me this far then top marks for sticking it out. The point is, I guess, that I hope I can look back at that point in my life in another five years and recognise that even in my darkest hour I had the strength to carry on and get back on my feet again.

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Journal

End Zone?

Things have been going downhill at WipeoutZone for the last few months. The traffic has dwindled since the heady heights of February and March, just after the launch of Wipeout Fusion. Add to this the current stream of idiots who are spamming the site and it’s getting to the point where I don’t need the hassle.

The sad thing is I have a few friends on there – the main moderators and a few of the long term guys are nice folks and they make sensible posts. However, there are a few new arrivals who post thoughtlessly or are just teenagers posturing with “I am the greatest” type comments which really knock the wind out of my sails with regard to the site.

It’s almost like it has served its purpose – I got a job out of it and that’s great. But more than three years after the release of the game the site is related to, it seems to have lost its course and in place of the previously thriving, forward thinking community, it’s now going round in circles, covering the same ground repeatedly.

Part of the reason is that Wipeout Fusion was a bit of a let down for the fans who hyped it so much. There’s nothing I can do to remedy that and there’s now nothing new to talk about on the site. There wont be another Wipeout game for several years and it’s looking more and more like WipeoutZone wont bridge that gap unless there’s a turnaround from the current vibe.

I remember about nine months ago I sent a mail to a guy who runs a GTA 3 fan site when he was thinking of giving it up. I told him to hold onto it because he’d appreciate it in the long run – fortunately he stuck it out… even though he never replied to my mail.

I’m not sure whether to follow my own advice or get on with something fresh. Man, I really do need a holiday.

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