Do you speak Micra?

Journal

Do you speak Micra?

No.

Far from being “Spafe” or “Modtro”, I think the new Nissan Micra is “Fugly” and probably complete “Shiss.”

It is with great comfort that I realise I’m not completely pretentious like the twats in modern car adverts.

Not for a single moment have I driven round a sharp bend going “Screeeeech!” because I’m so utterly amazed at the lack of tyre squeal, yet simultaneously overjoyed by the fantastic handling of my mass-produced family car.

Nor have I come to a point in a narrowing road and decided that although my car is a mid range saloon, it is way too roomy inside to fit through the gap easily navigated by the truck that went before me.

Likewise, I wont be singing “Joy!” as I reverse my gleaming new pick-up into sea water so that my equally moronic jetskiing friend can park in the back of said pick-up.

Not that I ever thought I’d own a Chrysler, but I’d rather own a car by a manufacturer that doesn’t spew out sickening adverts than the current crop distributed on our tv’s and cinemas.

To be honest, I was pushed close to the edge of a rant by the tyre squealing guy, but things have gotten out of control recently. Now there’s a whole clan of modern stereotypes driving the car to suit them… or at least they are in the adverts if not in real life.

Not that I’m in the financial position to buy any of these cars to complement my current collection of one, but the mere level of insult to the intelligence carried by these adverts only serves to ensure that I am NEVER going to be tempted to buy that particular make.